Okay, so MAYBE I just blew the whole thing out of proportion in my head.
"Out of proportion" being my least favorite phrase right now... But, to me and my very large list of insecurities, it was one small step for most people, one GIGANTIC leap for Jana.
It all started when Hubby came home and announced that his office was having a Weight Loss Challenge. They've done it for a few years now and everyone really likes to participate. Sounds harmless enough, right? Everyone chips in $20 and whoever loses the most wins all the money at the end. They are counting the highest percentage lost this year, not just the most pounds dropped. It gets better. The scale is in Boss's office, and I needed to go up there and officially declare my weight and have it put on their chart.
Nothing could have been more uncomfortable for me than to go up there, kids in tow, in all my stay-at-home-mom glory and jump on that scale! I was so petrified of having to walk into the office, full of mostly men, and say, "Um, I need to weigh in for the weight loss thingie..."
I felt like I had this stamp on my forehead.
It said: "I HAVE BEEN EATING BONBONS FOR FOUR YEARS!!!!"
Ugh. I know, it's just me and my "fear of man" kicking in. (Not Fear of MEN, Mankind - it's a Biblical term.)
My weight hasn't been such an issue until the past two years. I've never been really heavy, just not as ULTRA SKINNY as some of my friends. Plus, I am a good 6" taller than most of friends, so that always added to my weight, ya know?! But, since April 28, 2002 (the day I walked out of the military a free woman) I have not been watching my weight at all. Not to mention the three children I've given birth to.
It was a HUGE struggle to stay under the strict Marine Corps limit of 153 lbs. I took every weight loss drug out there just to stay that slim. It was a really unhealthy time for me! So, I do not want to go back into that old mindset. But, I do need to change my diet!
Let's just hope I won't lose my nerve every time I need to go "weigh in"!! Hey maybe I will lose the most and win that $300!!
That sure would buy a lot of books.... (That one was just for you, Hubby!)
About Me
- MamaJ
- SINNER. Saved by GRACE. Living out life as a Mom, Wife, Daughter, Sister, and Friend. I love Jesus, my husband, my children, books, homeschooling and large quantities of coffee.
1 comment:
All I can say is: you're amazing! Few women would be comfortable with a public weigh-in, but it's awesome that you're doing it. I went with Hubby this morning (all of us did, actually), and he weighed in at 242 (which I just can't believe because I've SEEN what he's eaten this holiday season!!!). Yet, that was 4 lbs less than last time, and next tuesday marks 1 year from his first appointment with the naturopath. 1 year and sixty pounds. Now, my test of bravery would be to sign up for the same stuff... affordability is another issue altogether though! May you do wonderfully, and whether or not you "win," I pray you come out the other side healthier and happier!
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