The Big "D's" in My Life

December is a crazy month for a lot of us. Instead of having the peace that we so long for, we can tend to make Christmas a busy, hurried, hectic holiday. This time of year is especially distracting for me, as often have bittersweet memories about our son Elijah. His birthday, December 27th, is a constant reminder of that particular Christmas. The other day, I innocently told Hubby I kept having the feeling that someone was missing in our house. I would count the kids and keep thinking someone must be in another room. He looked at me for a long moment, and then it dawned on me, "Oh, I am thinking about E...."

So, Distraction is a big problem for me right now. Distraction because we spent two weeks fighting off sickness and trying to rebound from that. Distraction from the gift-buying that commericals tell me I think I ought to be doing, and haven't had the time or resources yet. Distraction from the sewing machine that sits glaring at me in my room. With the projects piling up around it, as I count numerous "reasons" they haven't been done yet. (I.E. the kids won't leave me alone to do it; I only have one table to use and it's the kitchen table; I don't think I have the expertise to pull it off, therefore I avoid any possibility of failure.... You get the picture.)

Another "D" in my life is Discipline. Discipline that needs to take place with my children - or when discipline does get enforced, and then I harbor guilt over doing it wrong! I also fight with disciplining myself, in my eating habits, household chores, and Bible reading.

The saddest and most perplexing "D' right now is the DOG. Such a sweet dog, but so very stubborn. (Fits right into our family!) We cannot figure out how to keep her in the yard and out of everyone else's! The other night, she climbed over the fence, and spent the night cavorting in the neighbor's front yard, eating Christmas decorations at leisure. We saw the remains of their poinsettias as we got ready to leave for church. Thankfully, they assured me it wasn't a problem when I went over to apologize, but I was embarrassed nonetheless.

The only solutions we can think of are: to try walking her twice a day to get the energy out, bringing her inside (haha, she's 80lbs and very furry!), giving her to a friend who lives on a farm, or having her on a dog chain. Hmmmm. Well, I just cannot add walking the dog twice a day, with three small children in tow, down a busy street to my daily routine. I could possibly wake up early and do it myself, now that Hubby makes his own schedule... It's on the list of "maybes". It certainly wouldn't hurt my hips and waist line to go with this one. But, that's still not even a sure-thing to keep her in the yard. We agreed not to have an indoor dog on our lease, so that's out. I hate having her chained all the time, not to mention she barks way more when tied up. Who can blame her?? So, we're going to call our farming buddies and see if anyone is interested. We have one in particular who owns a male Great Pyr and it might be a really good match....

But, I guess my biggest and most annoying "D" is Despair. I tend to let things overwhelm me constantly. Even small things like forgetting something at the grocery store can send me into a whirlwind of guilt! Why do I let these everyday issues become so monumental? I am praying and asking God to help me get rid of all this baggage! Then I can get on with celebrating the season and focusing on His birth.