I mentioned something about demand-feeding in my "Not Me" post and Jessica caught on to it. I was already thinking about posting on it, so this is the perfect time!
When we had XMan, we had no clue what we were doing! He was a hefty 9.8lbs-er and he was hungry. ALL.THE.TIME. He reached a whopping 30lbs by the time he was a year old! I was nursing constantly and I had well-meaning people trying to tell me to supplement with formula, or give him rice cereal as a newborn, etc. etc. As a new mom, without a clue in the world, I listened to some of them. I think adding to his diet made him gain weight, instead of a constant diet of mommy's milk being his main nutrition. I also let people put a "stigma" on me about nursing in public, and I would go sit in the car, or a restroom to nurse him. We felt like outcasts because we had to go nurse and everyone else was watching the game still, or whatever.... How sad is that?
It also took him a while to start sleeping through the night. I tried to have him in his own room/crib from day one, and it really just became a hassle for me! I was walking to his room at night, instead of having him conveniently nearby. He didn't let go of the nighttime habit until he was about 8 months old.... By then I was losing my mind from a lack of sleep and exhaustion. Oh, and for the record, he slept on his stomach the entire time. He refused to sleep on his back, and would scream relentlessly when we tried. (Sorry Pediatricians!)
Needless to say, when Little Man came along, I had every intention of "putting him on a schedule" and getting him on my program from the start. Then came a house-move, and a cross-country move and living with other people on their own schedules, and all my best intentions flew out the window! We nursed when he was hungry, and he slept as well as he could at night. He was faster than his brother and slept throught the night at a speedy 3 months, ha. I also quit worrying so much about being in public when nursing, or about offending anyone. If you are eating in public, so can my child! Besides, no matter what kind of "wardrobe malfunction" I might have, it's gonna be way less than what you can see on Desperate Housewives!!
Oh, and both boys slept with us, at times, in bed on Mommy or Daddy's chest. Especially when they were very cranky or not feeling well. The extra comfort seemed to help them sleep better than anything else. They also both stopped nursing at 10 months, because they had a mouthful of sharp little teeth. I used formula for the remaining months, but I hope to not go through that with Baby Girl. It was too expensive!!
With Baby Girl, I once again thought I could do the scheduling routine strictly, from birth, and be okay with it. I read the Babywise books again. I read "My First 300 Babies," by Gladys West Hendrick. I read "Homegrown Kids" by Raymond and Dorothy Moore. (I recommend this one! It had a lot more than baby ideas.) I looked at attachment parenting sites to see what their take on it was. I grilled one of my friends who has had a lot of success with scheduling her babies. Have you noticed that I didn't just pray about it, or ask my husband what he thought?? I should have started there, don't you think?
In the end, what I came up with is that a good mix of the two is what our family needs. She needs a basic routine during the day, with me trying to keep her awake longer during the day. Sometimes she needs to nurse simply because she is stressed out, or when her tummy hurts - even if she just ate an hour ago. She likes to cuddle and I think she would rather be in a sling than in a bouncy seat all day. Crying is okay, and it won't hurt to let her cry once in a while, when I know for a fact that her other needs have been met. I also don't have to feel guilty for holding my snuggly little baby instead of making her tough it out all time. I don't think one specific regiment works for every baby. They have their own personalities and different needs. The boys didn't like to cuddle at all. They were both fine being in a swing or seat playing by themselves. Baby Girl likes to be around us more. She cries if she is left in a room by herself, as we have seen more than once at dinnertime!
Another factor was our sleeping arrangements. I am a very light sleeper and cannot get much sleep at all with a little one in the bed. I feel a lot more comfortable with her beside us in a bassinet. In a few more weeks she will be in her room, getting used to her pretty crib. But, if she needs to be held for a nap once in a while, Mommy's here little one! I'll even catch a few zzzz's with ya!
So, tell me what you guys did with your little ones! When did they "sleep through the night," and how much did they eat? Did you nurse consistently or bottle feed as well? How long did you do either one? Comment away!!
About Me
- MamaJ
- SINNER. Saved by GRACE. Living out life as a Mom, Wife, Daughter, Sister, and Friend. I love Jesus, my husband, my children, books, homeschooling and large quantities of coffee.
9 comments:
With Bug, I nursed for about 4 days and my milk supply was so low that I gave up. He slept on his stomach from Day 1 and I proudly let the pediatricians know too. He has always been between the 50th and 60th percentile in weight.
Now, with EJ, I nursed him for about 3 weeks and it hurt so bad and I was so uncomfortable. I cried with every feeding and didn't enjoy it at all. I switched him to a bottle and he gained weight very rapidly. At a year old, he was 28 pounds. He always slept on his back and was perfectly content to do so.
Both of my boys are happy & healthy. My only regret is that I didn't try harder with the nursing.
I'll tell you..lol...at first I had no idea what to do. I relied on other people to fill me in on what to do in regards to nursing or routines. I even found a nursing instructor online that I could e-mail when things just started to get to me or I had questions about how long and what and when and...well, you know how your mind can get carried away with you. Anyway, I think I read too many books that were telling me to MAKE Cade do certain things and whatever and someone told me one day to just put the books aside and just listen to my baby. When I did that things just began to fall into place. I nursed him when he needed it and he slept through the night at three months. When I started him on cereal (can't remember when I started this) I nursed him afterward I think and it became three times a day and once at night (before bed). He just gave it up at 12 months and didn't demand it again.
I think you are doing right. You seem to be very informed and you certainly have more experience than me..lol. Just sit back and enjoy her while she is still little enough to nurse. That's my advice, I guess.
After having (and nursing) three babies, I declare that I would rather labor TWICE (for each child) than experience the first 2-3 weeks of nursing. I would say it was less horrific with this last one, but I clearly recall fearing latch-on to the point I even shriek and use (in an anguished whisper) very unladylike words. Blood stains in bras, tears, pain... hell #3 is 14 months in a couple days, and has... six front teeth and 3 molars or so? And we're still nursing. I weaned her sisters between 14-15 months, but not sure how we'll go with her. It's mostly early a.m. and before bed, so it's not like it 'cramps our style' too terribly. :) As for sleep, #1 was sleeping great fairly young (2 months or less), #2 took about a year, and #3 did great young, then got to enjoy a few nighttime snacks, then I retrained her a bit at about 9 months, and she's usually pretty good. 8 pm to 5 or 6 a.m.
I did baby cereals and foods starting around 4-5 months with the first two, this one I did egg yolk, banana, raw organic beef liver (heh heh) until starting some grains at 9-10 months or so. Nourishing Traditions ideas, if you care. :) Haven't given her any store bought 'baby food' other than what my grandma fed her while we were camping...
Okay, that's my story. You asked. :)
I have always coslept with my babies, I could NEVER sleep well having them away from me. My thoughts have always been they spent their first 9-10 months INSIDE of me and how could I just stick them in a cold, big bed all alone? Felt wrong to me. My husband's a huge cosleeper advocate too. I nurse on demand, they know when they are hungry, uncomfortable, wanting comfort, etc...who am I to say "no"? We also self-wean, I did it with my 3rd child and intend to do it with Emma. I have HUGE regrets with my oldest 2 for not being nearly as informed.
I love Dr. Sears. I also am not a big advocate of solids in the first 7-9 months of life, the first year it's just for introducing them and most people don't actually know that babies do not "NEED" solids at all in the first year.
We've always managed to get through the biting phase fairly unscathed, although it's a painful few times, I'm stern and will remove the breast when bitten and it's amazing just how smart they are even so small to know NOT to bite Mommy!!
I find I do a lot of praying through it all.
As for sleeping through the night, I never really worried much about it, since we cosleep, I just roll over, nurse them and we're back to sleep. Emma spends part of her nights in a crib now, until I go to bed (she's 15 months) and then she comes into bed with me and she normally nurses right back to sleep and if she wakes up most of the time I haven't got a clue, other than waking up to my shirt being up!
Oh gosh ... it's a wonder my poor Gabbi-girl survived her first year of life. I was SO clueless! Thankfully she was a pretty easy-going baby. She slept through the night at around 3 mo, nursed for about 15 mo, and weighed 19 lbs at a year.
Madelyn is my "if she had been born first, she would have been an only child" kid. Seriously! The entire world was broken down into two people - the mama, and not the mama. If not the mama was holding her, she was screaming. She nursed for about eighteen months, pretty much on demand. She had that demand thing figured out really well, and really early. LOL! She was a tiny little thing too - started off at nearly 10 lbs and weighed 15 at a year.
Then Brendan came along. He nursed until he was nearly two, although the last few months were pretty much in secret due to the "don't you think he's too old for that?" thing. He started out at 7 lbs and weighed 17 at a year, so he was pretty little too. Not so anymore! LOL
The things I've learned ... they're so different. G was so laid back, M was so high maintenance, and B was somewhere between the two. What worked for one absolutely wouldn't work for another. I read a lot of books too, and finally learned that the ideas that sound so wonderful may or may not work for my child. Chew the meat, spit out the fat. I wish I would have learned that before kid #3 though!
Oh - and G was never in our bed. M was in there a fair amount, especially the first six months. B was there almost constantly for almost a year and received an eviction notice.
Thanks Ellajac! I forgot to mention the absolute excruciating pain involved the first few weeks of nursing! We had blood stains, blood in the spit-up, raw Mommy! Pure lanolin and "Lansinoh" work wonders. I would find every muscle in my body tensing before the boys latched on! It's gone a lot faster with each one, though and the pain is nearly gone with #3 here.
I think the teething/biting might go smoother with her as well. I sure hope so! We went a second go-round of blood and sore Mommy when the boys were biting at 10 months. I tried tugging on their hair, pulling away from them, a quick pop on the leg. Nothing seemed to work. If it happens again, we're going to try and persevere this time!
Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier. I'm looking forward to reading more when I get a chance.
With our first, we had no clue. (Trial and Error). Seeing that we have 7 children so far ranging from 9 yo to 6 months old, we have a system that has worked with each one. I nurse them for as long as possible depending on the circumstances. The new baby sleeps with Mommy and Daddy until he/she is 6 weeks old. Then they move to their crib and cry it out for three nights. (Some have taken a couple of more days but most have been the 3 days.) After that time period, they are good sleepers. All of my children are great sleepers. We usually move the baby to a regular twin bed around 13 month to 14 months which seems to be a great transition time for them with little trouble. Have friends that have done the same.
I introduce rice ceral around 4 months and transition into vegetables and fruit between 5-6 months old. All of this while still nursing. My babies have gotten into good nursing schedules pretty quickly.
This is has been great for our home. Just sharing how our family works!
well....here goes! haha!
Luke...
He nursed for 14 months, always on demand. I was willing to do it longer, but it just seemed like the right time for both of us. He nursed EXCLUSIVELY until 6 1/2 months, when I started him on homemade baby food....fruit. He never had cereal and never once even tasted formula.
In regards to sleeping, I did whatever worked for him. He mostly slept in his bed because he and I both slept better that way. But when he went through growth spurts where he nursed alot during the night he spent a good bit of the night in bed with me.(I learned to nurse laying down from the get go, haha!)
He has always been my very healthy child. never once needed anti-biotics, or any other perscribed medicine for that matter. I gave him cough medicine one time about a year ago and he promptly threw it up. should have stuck with the homeopathic, eh?
Ray....
she nursed for 13 months. once again, that was always on demand too. I had my mind made up a long time before that that she was going to nurse alot longer than luke did. but....she was a bitter. BAD! so needless to say, the nursing ended on a bit of a sour note for the both of us right at 13 months. we both wanted it to go longer, but every time we both ended up crying. very sad.
Any way, she nursed exclusively until 6 1/2 months also. it was at that point that I started her on babyfood. homemade, of course. she never had cereal. I never saw the point in it. The homemade babyfood didn't last quite as long with her though...only a couple of months, then she had to settle for organic store-bought. in regards to formula...she only had one bottle in her life, which she stole from her cousin. After seeing her drink that I tried to get her to drink some at home, just to add some protein to her diet, but she completely refused and never tasted the stuff again. oh well. maybe she knew best.
on to sleeping....I did with her pretty much what I did with luke, which was what ever helped her sleep better. Just like luke, she seemed to sleep better in her own bed. but...when she was a newborn she was just tooooo irresitable. we just had to bring her to bed with us sometimes. we missed her too much!! haha!
she's a pretty healthy one also. never needed anti-biotics or perscription meds either, until recently. we just found out that she has allergy inducded asthma, so she will had meds for that when it flares up.(she gets those weak genes from her daddy, haha!)
Future babies and/or children... if they are biological I'll probably do pretty much the same thing. if they are adopted at a young age I will probably do pretty much to the same thing. If they are adopted at an older age I will probably chart some new territory. exciting, eh?!
I think you are doing great for your little one...
For us, I've nursed exclusively until around 7 - 9 months. Then when the baby acts interested in food, I begin table food, and baby cereals. My first baby I did have to put her on formula after nursing 6 months when I went back to work. But the others have been lucky (or blessed) enough to not ever taste formula, or even use a bottle ever. Though others think I'm crazy since I never get a night out away from the baby since they do not take bottles, I'm okay with it!
They seemed to always sleep through the night in my book since I never woke up much while nursing in my sleep. Officially they are usually in their own bed around 6 - 9 months sleeping through the night. Really just when they are ready!
I really enjoyed your post!
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