Updates...

Sunday morning the 18th, we woke up and started getting ready for church. Before we had even finished getting everyone dressed, Hubby's phone rang with an urgent call from his Mom. She was in tears and sounded distraught, so we knew something was wrong. She told us that his 17 year old cousin had been in a car accident overnight and was killed, along with 2 other boys. Sad. Tragic story. So many details, all of them jumbled and emotion-laden. So, within the confusion and pain, we tried to figure out a plan of action on our end. Hubby had already been attached to a ship in New Orleans, so he was planning to leave that afternoon. Instead of heading to church, we sent him off and the kids and I went to go get some funeral clothes.
The next few days we were just waiting to hear what the plans would be. Finally, we drove back to Nana's house and spent the week there, going to the visitation and funeral. Please say a prayer for Hubby's aunt and her children as they deal with the death of their son/brother and the details surrounding his death. Thanks friends.

Deep Thoughts...

Warning: Don't read this post if you can't handle a little bit of brutal honesty....

I debated even writing about my thoughts tonight. But, this is my blog and I don't want to hide behind a facade. I'm sure most of you already know I definitely don't have it all together. What you may not realize is how deeply I struggle with depression & anxiety. It hasn't always been that way. There was a time when I could make you think I was the most confident person you'd ever met. I felt ten feet tall & bullet proof hiding inside my Marine Corps uniform. Even then, I knew the ugly monster of depression was always lurking, waiting for me to falter. God has used my battles with depression to draw me to Him over the years. At times, I couldn't even make it to the grocery store by myself for fear of having to talk to someone. (I am so thankful for a patient and enduring husband).

I've used many weapons to fight depression over the years; diet, medicines, herbals, prayer(!), and counseling. I honestly believe that while it is something that can be managed, it's totally up to God if He chooses to deliver me from this. That deliverance and the extreme pain that depression can cause is what I wanted to write about tonight.

Today is September 17th and it's one of the hardest days of my year. Four years ago, my Dad sat outside in the trees behind his house and started writing a suicide letter. He made it through several pages and then stopped. I'm not sure if he was overwhelmed by writing, or if someone came home. Whatever the case, he began writing it again the next day. I can't even imagine the spiritual battle going on as he lay awake that night, turning over the plan he had formulated in his mind.

Deliverance. It didn't come in the form we so desperately would've have asked of God. If I had known what he was thinking, I would have begged my father to change his mind. I would have reminded him of his precious grandsons and their love for him. I would've have done everything in my power to change that raging course of destiny. But I didn't know. I didn't know he was hurting so badly. I didn't know he was planning to end his pain. I didn't know. And then it was too late.

God had all night to stop that dreadful outcome. He had all night to miraculously change my father's heart. But there is no rushed, last minute plan with God. He knew my father's thoughts. He knew the pain and tragedy we were about to face. He knew the betrayal and fear that my siblings and I were about to encounter. He could've turned that tide. Instead, He chose to hold us tenderly in His hands. He chose to let us walk through that trial, guiding us each step of the way.
Every day I fall clinging to my Heavenly Father's feet, asking Him to hold me up throughout the day. I miss my Dad terribly. I wish he had never gone through that horrible trial. I wish I could undo all of it. But, I can't. What I can do is forgive his weaknesses and rely on the strength that only God can provide. So, help me Lord. Help me get through this time and find my way back to JOY again.

Nipping at heels...

When I was growing up, we had a Shetland Sheepdog.    He was a sweet dog, but a tad overprotective.   We would run, he would bark and nip at our heels.  We would jump around and squeal like kids do, and he would bark and nip us into submission.   At least until we figured out we could put him in the laundry room and go play outside without his constant "supervision".    He wasn't trying to be mean, he thought he was doing his job, keeping us all grouped together and safe.  But we weren't sheep, needing constant direction.  We were children who had minds of our own.  We had ideas and creativity that we wanted to go try out.   

Lately, I've been wearing myself out by constantly barking orders and nipping at the smallest details.   I've been running circles around my family, trying to keep everyone on-task and within the parameters of my To Do list.   We recently moved to a new city, a new home, are still looking for a new church, and haven't made any new friends yet.   So, call my stress a coping mechanism, call it what you will...but my family would probably just call it miserable.   I'm not acting much different than our crazy little sheepdog did!  

This season of change has been a difficult and lonely one for our family, but as each day passes, I am trying to remember Who is in control and that He has a perfect plan.  I can assure you it won't look anything like "Jana's Plan" would.   My way would always include the easiest route, the least painful way, the instant gratification button, etc.   I am thankful that I have a Great Shepherd and that His ways are good.    Lord, help me to lead my children and not merely boss them around trying to accomplish goals. 

Psalm 23

A Psalm of David.

 ¹ The LORD is my shepherd;
         I shall not want.
 ² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
         He leads me beside the still waters.
 ³ He restores my soul;
         He leads me in the paths of righteousness
         For His name’s sake.
        
 ⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
         I will fear no evil;
         For You are with me;
         Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
        
 ⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
         You anoint my head with oil;
         My cup runs over.
 ⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
         All the days of my life;
         And I will dwell^[a] in the house of the LORD
         Forever.

Changes...

hubby's job.  possibly the city we live in.  which would of course lead to changing houses.  the vehicles we drive.  the way we diaper our babies ;-).   whether we keep the dog or not.  the way we budget.  my weight (please, Lord!).  how we homeschool our children...... 

We are in the middle of so many changes right now.  It's hard not to be completely overwhelmed and let fear creep in.   I have very little control over any of these variables, it's really all up to God.   Each change seems dependent on another one.  Cloth diapers and whether I lose any weight are about the only things I can really take care of without manipulating anyone else.  :-)   Maybe I should just pour my pent-up frustrations into a good workout? 
 
I keep remembering why I named this blog, "Faithfully Following."   That was yet another season where I was being led to let go of all that is familiar and just trust God's hand.    My life is like a box of chocolates life is more like a salad spinner.    Everything gets a good washing, thrown in the bowl, and spun around and around until voila!   You're left with all the stuff that's supposed to be good for you!  

Seems like I've heard it phrased another way before...

"For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined." Psalm 66:10

Slowly, but surely, being refined.  

Perspective

So, I've been telling you recently about the changes that our family has been experiencing in our "worldview".   We've scaled down on tv, Christmas gifts, spending, etc.  Started giving away a lot more.  We began realizing we don't *need* most of what we have.    Some of you might still be thinking, what in the world is a worldview??   GotQuestions.org answers it this way:

A “worldview” refers to a comprehensive conception of the world from a specific standpoint. A “Christian worldview,” then, is a comprehensive conception of the world from a Christian standpoint. An individual’s worldview is his “big picture,” a harmony of all his beliefs about the world. It is his way of understanding reality. One’s worldview is the basis for making daily decisions and is therefore extremely important.

Basically, it's how you view the world, and how you live your life based on that ideal.   We believe that what matters to Christians should be drastically different from what matters to the rest of the world.  When we started noticing that what mattered to us wasn't all that different after all, we knew it was time to change some things.  


Lately, we've been talking about income, job schedules and ways to make our family time more effective in the long run.   In our household, Hubby works a crazy schedule.  It means that sometimes he's home in the middle of the day, but sometimes he's gone all day and into the night.  Other times, we just sit down to dinner or a family movie and he gets called out to work.   On top of that, he has varying days off every week, and during those days off, he runs our small construction/landscaping business.     It's a huge juggling act around here!   The addition of a second vehicle has made things a little easier lately, so for that, we're very grateful.    But there are times when we wonder, what in the world is he working so hard for?   Do we need to keep making this amount of money to survive, to meet our needs?   We're basically spending every cent that comes in, with little to nothing to show for it.   Meaning we haven't increased our savings, giving, property, etc.  

A few weeks ago, Hubby & I read that, 84% of the world's population makes less than $10,000 a year.   If you make $50,000 or more a year,  you are wealthier than 99% of the world.   We definitely fall into that privileged 1%.   We also learned that close to 2 billion people live on less than $2 a day.   I can't even imagine living on that amount.    That's $730/year.   My monthly grocery budget is way more than that.  And let's not even count the money we spend eating out frivolously.   *SIGH*    

So, there's a lot of conviction going on here about the way we use our income, and whether it is really meeting any Kingdom needs or not.   Lots of thoughts rolling around in here.... 

To be continued.....

 

 

Whirlwind week!

We just got home from THIS super-duper conference where we heard some awesome men of God speaking.   Several families from our church went, so we were able to enjoy some fellowship with them also.  It was a great time and we got even more confirmation that we are walking exactly where God is leading us in our family.  More about it later, tonight, I'm exhausted!  

I Stand Amazed in The Presence...

Tonight, we drove with our 3 children down into the ghetto and handed out spaghetti dinners and birthday cake to those who were hungry.  

But, let me back up and tell you how we got there.

It started by opening a little orange-covered book called, "Radical."    There must be some kind of annointing on this book, because our eyes have been opened as they never have before.   For the first time in our lives, Hubby and I are seeing people in a whole new light.    The hurting, the hungry, the poor, the naked, the thirsty -they're all jumping out at us from amongst the crowds.   Scales have been peeled back off our eyes in a very radical new way.    People that we used to just walk by and feel sorry for, have now become a burden that we cannot help but carry.   It's more painful to do nothing than to step outside our comfort zones and just do something. 

Last night one of our pastor's gave a great illustration of how much religious freedom we have here in our country.  There is a mission trip coming up for a group of our church friends to go to Vietnam.  Because it's a communist country, they cannot openly witness in Vietnam.    They face the risk of being jailed, having the host Vietnamese Christians jailed, harassment, etc.  It's an intimidating thought: pay a great deal of money to fly to a country where you have to stay undercover and try to reach people for Jesus.   But the risk involved if they don't go?   There are souls there that may never know the love of Christ.   

He compared it to an outreach they just did recently in an area near where we live.   They walked door-to-door night after night, handing out Bibles and trying to reach out to over 1,000 people.   Some people were interested, most weren't.  But after knocking on all those doors, they only got one loud, "Nooooo!"    ONE.   One door that refused to open to them, one person who wanted them to go away.  So, leave they did, but not before blatantly leaving a copy of  the Gospel on the front porch anyway!

What a contrast.   Not only can we openly walk around, telling people about the love of Christ, we can also openly hand out Bibles to those who do not have the Word in their homes.   For the most part, we don't have to worry about being imprisoned.  Yet, we rarely breech the barriers of political correctness or perceived "harassment" because we're scared of...what?  Being told no?  

He also asked the group at church last night who had black and white, definite restrictions of sharing the gospel with their co-workers...?   Out of about 40 adults, only 2 people had written rules that they knew of that clearly prevented them from sharing the gospel at work.  (One of those was a Federal Employee, so there's no surprise there, right?)    Now, he didn't do this, but let's suppose he had asked the same group, "Who's actually witnessed to someone while at work?"    Do you think every hand would have been raised?  I'm not sure.    I wonder why it's so hard for us to share the best news anyone will ever hear with the people we're around every day?

So, how has this book started opening our eyes to the plight of those around us?   Let's start with the nursing home that Hubby recently began landscaping.   A short walk around the inside with an employee the other day opened his eyes to the loneliness and pain that is so characteristic of nursing homes.  One elderly man had been there since the Hurricane Ike evacuations in 2008.  Somehow he ended up with this nursing home and thank goodness he did.  Because, if he has family out there, they never came back to get him.  He's been in the nursing home ever since.   Another patient, a 14 year old boy with Cerebral Palsy has lived the past three years of his life without a single visit from his mother.   She exists, she's out there - but she doesn't come to visit him.

With tears in his voice, Hubby explained to me that he'd like to adopt this entire nursing home.  We'll be bringing gifts and all the love we can share to this place.  On Thanksgiving, Christmas morning and as often as we can.   Why?  Because we can.  And we should. 
  
This afternoon, Hubby was handed 10 paid-for tickets to a spaghetti dinner sponsored by a local high school.   We were already planning a birthday party at Chick-Fil-A for Baby Girl, and we are also going out of town tomorrow for a conference in Houston.  The food would do us no good sitting in our fridge for two days.   Hmm, what to do. We thought about it for a few seconds and then quickly forgot about it.    We celebrated her birthday with family, enjoyed opening presents, eating cake and rejoicing in two years with our precious, healthy daughter. 

Then, suddenly at 7:10pm, after the dinner was supposed to already be over, Hubby reached into his pocket and pulled out the tickets.  "Oh man, we forgot to do anything about this," he said.   I looked at him and said, "Why don't we go anyway? We always had lots left over when we did spaghetti dinners at school."    "What are we going to do with them?" he asked.  I shrugged, "We could go find someone who needs one."   

So, we stretched ourselves out of our comfort zones.  Because we had to quickly pack up the kids, the gifts, and the cake and briefly explain to the family what we felt we needed to go do.  Then we hurried to a high school that we do not have children attending, that we don't know anyone at and Hubby went inside to ask them.  Lo and behold, they did have plenty left over and they were more than willing to pack it up for us.     Praise the Lord!  Now what?

We took a few up to Hubby's office and gave them to the guys on night dispatch.  3 dinners down.   Then, as we'd been praying on the way, we both felt like we needed to go drive into the city and hand out the rest of them.   At night?  With all the kids?  But, I'm pregnant...really God?    Show us the hungry, Lord. 

So, drive into the ghetto we did.   At night.  Into an area that I don't like being near during broad daylight.    WAY out of comfort zones.....    The first person we saw was a woman walking down the street by herself.  When I rolled my window down to ask if she could use a free spaghetti dinner, she gave me an emphatic, "No. No thanks!"   Ok, so there's that word No.   Now, what?   "Keep on going."  I felt it in my heart.  So did Hubby.  

We drove further into the neighborhoods.  We ended up near the street where a former employee of ours lives.  "Hey, let's see if they're home," I said.   Sure enough, he was and he eagerly took 4 dinners off our hands.   As Hubby chatted with him in the driveway, we noticed his elderly neighbor sitting on the front porch across the street smoking a cigarette.   Little Man spoke up first and stated, "That man looks like he's waiting for some s'getti Mommy."    Out of the mouths of babes.   When Hubby opened the door to get back in, I told him what Little Man had said, and that he'd asked to go deliver the food with him.   So, we let our 4 year old unbuckle and walk across the street to give someone a free meal.   He was overjoyed to get to take part in this adventure.  He bravely shook hands with the stranger who gladly accepted the dinner and asked if we were with a church.  Sort of sir, more like the Body of Christ.   One more meal gone. 

We drove around for a few more minutes, the streets getting darker as we went.   We finally saw two men standing on a corner near where we had already passed by.  No, they couldn't use the food, but check around the corner maybe.   So, we drove around the corner and saw a group of black men hanging out behind a building.  We rolled down the window and asked, "Could anyone use a free dinner?"   They came running in disbelief towards our car.   We handed out the meals and forks until there was nothing left. 

Then as I realized how little would actually go around between all those men, I called out, "What about some cake too?"   So, out the window went the remainders of Baby Girl's butterfly birthday cake.   Out the window into eager hands and empty bellies.    "God Bless You"s were called out.   Not from us, but from them.  God bless us?  But we're trying to bless you....  

I am so amazed, and I am so ready.  Show us what you want us to do Lord.  Help us to be brave enough to faithfully follow You. 

"Radical"

We're reading through a book together at church on Wednesday nights.   We're only half-way through it and already some very thought-provoking topics have come up.    How much of the "American Dream" have you acheived?   House, vehicles, jobs, clothes, (more than enough) food in the pantry?   If Christ called you to leave it all behind, to sell everything and follow Him, would you be ready and willing?   I strongly encourage you to go to this link and watch the short little 2 minute clip about the book Radical.    

So many in need, so few who are willing....

We are so blessed to be at a church where families are celebrated, supported and encouraged in their walk with Christ.  We are also blessed to be in a place that loves children, not just everyone's biological children, but adoptive and foster children as well.   Several families in our church have been able to bring home, through adoption, precious little ones who desperately needed a real family to belong to.   What an amazing opportunity they have been given, to grow up in a loving environment, with parents who truly desire the best for their lives.   Not just the "world's best" either, but God's best. 

Yet, this isn't always the case.   There are homes all over our affluent country (yes, even despite a "recession" we're still one of the richest countries in the world!) that have empty rooms, empty chairs at the barely used tables, and people who are unwilling to see the need they could fill.   In other parts of the world, children are going to sleep at night who haven't been held, haven't been smiled at, haven't been loved.    Even in our own country, there are children who need to be rescued from the loneliness of growing up in the social services system.    Every night, just wishing they had a Mommy and Daddy....

That's why stories like this one are so heart-breaking to me.   So many people in this country take child-bearing for granted.  They cut off God's blessing of children with birth control, they run to abort precious lives because they deem it an inconvenience.   It must break God's heart to look down on these little ones and see their pain.   I wish I could hop on a jet and bring one of them home with me.   But, what I can do is pray, so pray I will. 

"I left my heart there."

In Need of Encouragement...

Proverbs 24:16 

"for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again..."

"Perfectionism is the false idea that a righteous man never falls- or when he does, he certainly doesn't admit it, lest he discourage everyone who is watching him run!   When we sin and fall short of God's glorious holiness, we have no right to despair or hide, but only to confess, ask forgiveness, and get up again with God's help.  
I think as wives and mothers we have a tendency to fall into the trap of perfectionism rather easily...."

Jennie Chancey in "Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God" 

Humbled

Yesterday started off bad.  B.A.D.   One of those everyone in the house ( including Mommy) is throwing a tantrum kind of days.    No amount of counting to ten, separating siblings, spankings or even desparate prayers seemed to help!   Just when I couldn't take another single thing, Hubby called and asked me to drop everything to go open a new account at a different bank.  A task, I was definitely going to need to do sans-children.   Quickly I sent up yet another pleading prayer, "Dear God, please help me find someone to watch the kids!"   Most of our friends had gone on a field trip, across town.  
So, I called the friend who always says, "Call me if you ever need anything!"   Which we have - to the point that I feel bad even thinking about calling her again.   But, they happened to be on their way home and she says, sure bring them over.  Then I hurried to find an outfit that didn't boast a child-induced stain and tried to make myself look like I hadn't been ripping my hair out all morning.  
After dropping the kids off, (who by the way turned into little cherubs at my friend's house) I made my way to the bank.  It was right during lunch time and super busy inside.   It caught me off guard when the lobby greeter asked me if I wanted coffee or anything.  What?  Did you just ask ME if you could get me a drink?
When the banker called me over to get started on my account, she asked if I was off work for the day.  I must have looked out-of-place because I wasn't in a hurry to get back before my lunch hour ended.  :-)  At least, I'm guessing it was that, I'm pretty sure my shoes matched...

When I told her, no I stay home and homeschool my children, she stopped typing and looked at me.  Here it comes, I thought....Oh,really? I could never do that.   Instead, she smiled sadly and whispered, "I would love to stay home.   You're so lucky."  

I almost teared up thinking about how shameful I had acted that morning.   How I had completely forgotten about the meaning and purpose behind actually staying home with my children.    I had disregarded how hard my husband works so that I can be here everyday.   And not just to be here, but to be here discipling and training these little people.   Helping them to be the future men and women that God has designed them to be.   Helping my husband when he does things like call and ask me to go run an errand for him, and *gasp* doing it with a cheerful attitude...

She then proceeded to ask where my husband worked, was it a good paying job, were they hiring, etc.  We eventually got back to my account and got it all set up.   In the meantime, God dumped a huge dose of humility into my heart and reminded me that no matter how exhausting the job can be at times, the rewards are eternal.   I'm not lucky, but I am blessed. 

"A Year of YES"

When I saw this post by Ann Voskamp, my eyes just filled with tears.  I know how often I tell my children, "no".   No, we can't make that project.  No, we can't go outside yet.  No, you can't get muddy, I am tired of washing muddy clothes.    Rarely ever a "Yes!"   Sigh.  

If you have a moment, I promise it will be a worthwhile read.   Here's a taste...

"Mama... today... could I..." she turns and those eyelashes, gold whispers, brush my cheek. Her hands embrace my face and her breath falls warm, desperate.


"Oh, I just know..." Her eyes, dark stars, entreat. "I just know you are going to say No."

In her eyes, I can see mine and I am known for no.

No, you can't and no, that's not a good idea and no, put that away. For no, we aren't going and no, let's not and no, not now. (Oh, sweet child... and to think when they first laid you in my arms, you were all my yeses!)

She can't know of the all the other ones I only speak to myself, about myself, for myself. No, you can't be that -- no, you can't do that -- no good, no chance, no hope. (Oh, to be gentle with self. Grace always embraces...)

Or the ones I try to veil, the ones I shamefully stomp at God? No, I don't want this! No, I'm not doing that! No, don't change this, no, leave that alone, no, don't muck this up, no, no, no! (Oh, but You said yes to me before time began, yes to me in Christ with the arms nailed wide...)

What we speak to others, is what we speak to ourselves, is what we speak to God...."

"Safe"

I was so blessed to see this tonight on my friend Nickie's blog.  I haven't heard this song yet on the radio, but now that I have, it's iPod worthy for sure!    Sometimes you just need that reminder that you're not alone in this walk.    I hope you enjoy listening to it. 




Safe - By Phil Wickam / Bart Millard
Verse:
To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone


Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone


Chorus:
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms


Verse 2:
Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone


Bridge:
These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me
These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

B90: Days 2 & 3 and other stuff....

Hi! It's been a busy weekend at our house!   I did read though, and I am still on-target with my reading guide.     I didn't read straight through the past two days, though.    I can tell that made a huge difference in the impact that the scripture reading had on me.  I will have to find a way to read either before the kids wake up, or after everyone is asleep....     But, even though I don't have a specific verse that spoke to me, I did have an insight or two.

The B90 daily email has a "Something to Ponder" topic in it.    Today's was, "What mistakes of his parents did Jacob repeat?"     I actually expanded on that question in my reading and took a look at the trends the whole family seemed to have.     The biggest sin that kept being passed down in this family was: deceit.   Abraham had Sarah lie and say that she was (merely) his sister on TWO separate occasions, to save his own hide!  Then, Isaac did the same thing to Rebekah, Gen. 26:7.  Then, Rebekah takes the deceitfulness even further by encouraging and helping Jacob steal his brother's birth-right.    Then, we see Jacob years later, as he returns home and Esau comes to greet him.   He tells Esau (paraphrase), "Go on ahead, we'll be right behind you, but we're traveling slowly..."    Instead of going to Esau's home, he turns and goes another way!  Why couldn't he have just told him he was going to go another direction?   It keeps on going, with Joseph's brothers lying to their father about his death when they had in fact sold him to merchants.  Why can't this family just tell the truth?! 


What's interesting to see is that despite the complete lack of faith they show at times, they still always return to God and He continues to guide and love them.   That's good to know, isn't it?

Another neat thing I noticed was that Isaac and Ishmael buried Abraham together.   Even after Ishmael had been sent away and basically disinherited.   Gen. 25:9  


I am using an old NIV Bible, one I bought back in high school.  I also used it in boot camp and for a little while before having children.  My notes and the things I underlined back then are a neat little "blast from the past."    I had forgotten about some of the things God showed me back then.

So!   If you're still thinking about trying to read the Bible in 90 days, I encourage you to give it a try!

On another note, I am having some computer issues!  I don't know how those links showed up in my first B90 post.  I did not link to the word "e-cl-i-p-s-e" with an ebay ad to the Twilight series.    I think I may have a virus on here somewhere, so I will have to figure it out.   Ugh.

More soon!! 

B90: Day 1

Happy New Year!  
If you saw my post from the other day, then you already know I am joining a group of people who are reading through the Bible in 90 days.    Today was Day One!     Of course, we were up late last night watching fireworks, so this morning was a little bit lazy and slow-starting.   But, I was able to get an hour by myself to go read.    The first 16 chapters of Genesis went by pretty quickly, probably because I have read them so many times before!   (We'll see how fast it goes once we hit Chronicles, or Numbers...)      Even though I've read the book of Genesis many times before, several things stood out to me today in a totally new way.    I am going to use the SOAP technique that Mom'sToolbox uses to share one with you.

Scripture:   Genesis 1:16 "And God made the two great lights -the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night- and the stars."    

Observation:  What stood out to me was the use of the word "light" to describe the moon.   The sun is a no-brainer, duh, it gives us light.  But, the moon isn't an actual light at all, it merely reflects the sun's light.    By being there to simply reflect the sun, the moon is fulfilling its God-given purpose and is able to "rule over the night."      Day-in and day-out, the moon does the same thing...   Occasionally, it gets to take part in one of those eclipse-thingies, but mainly it just goes around and around, making the sun look good.    Or is that really all?  Every calendar I see in my house has the phases of the moon on it, showing me when I can expect a full moon.   We can't look directly at the sun, but go ahead and stare at the moon all you like!   We've sent astronauts to the moon, circled the moon, we sing songs about the moon, etc. etc.    So, regardless of its simplicity, the moon has a big role in God's plan.  

Application:  How in the world does this have meaning to me?  Well, basically, I felt God using that scripture to show me that my role as a wife and mother might seem monotonous or plain sometimes.  There are days when I would much rather sparkle all day and be the big, flashy "sun," if you will.  But, God has called me to be a constant, Christ-reflecting light in our home.

Prayer:    My prayer is that God will help me be satisfied and fulfilled in the role He has placed me in.  I hope that I can be a better reflection of His will for me and my husband's vision for our family.   I pray that God will show me when my attitude or desires are starting to "eclipse" my husband's role and help me to back off, graciously.

I can't wait to see what tomorrow's reading will reveal!

10 Questions for the New Year

Our pastor passed out this list of questions last night at church.  They are from the Biblical Spirituality website, founded by Don Whitney. 


"Even those most faithful to God occasionally need to pause and think about the direction of their lives. It's so easy to bump along from one busy week to another without ever stopping to ponder where we're going and where we should be going.
The beginning of a new year is an ideal time to stop, look up, and get our bearings. To that end, here are some questions to ask prayerfully in the presence of God. 


1. What's one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?

2. What's the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?

3. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?

4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?

5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?

6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?

7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?

8. What's the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different from last year?

9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?

10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?"

Read the Bible in 90 Days?!

I saw this today at Raising Olives and it really caught my attention.    Have any of you ever attempted the "Read Thru the Bible in One Year" reading programs?   Ever actually succeeded?   Not me.  I have yet to actually read the Bible from cover to cover.    In 26 years of being a Christian (who could read), I have yet to read the entire Bible.  Wow.  That really bothered me.  I finish all kinds of other books constantly.   Yet, the most important piece of writing ever written, I haven't read in its entirety.     I own about 12-15 Bibles, my children each have one or two of their own, Hubby has about 6 of his own.    In some countries, people are being imprisoned for having scraps of pages of the Bible!     They would literally die for the chance to read the whole Bible, much less hear it freely preached in a public setting!  

So, I think I am going to do this.   The idea is daunting to say the least.  Some other things, like internet, tv and leisure reading will have to be set aside.  The time demands alone are scary.  But, it is definitely a goal worthy of achieving.   The spiritual benefits of spending that much time in the Word daily will be amazing!  Would you like to join me?  Or even just go read more about this preposterous idea?!  

Here's the link.     Go check it out! 

Family Integrated Church

"Family Integrated Church," ever heard that phrase? We didn't know what that meant until last May 2008, when we decided to visit a local church several of our friends had mentioned. We were so impressed with the lack of children's activities and the way families actually worshipped together! No buzzing pagers, no numbers flashing on a screen for parents of crying babies. There wasn't a big shuffle in the middle of service for all the kids to "exit stage left," for Children's Church, so that the adults could continue with the real sermon. The families actually sat together and listened to the sermons, prayed together and took communion together! Impressive.


We had been seeing trends and ideals in some churches, and we wanted to avoid those in our family. It was a totally foreign concept to us, but we jumped at the chance to start reforming our family. Since then, we have been surprised and pleased to learn that Family Integrated Churches are popping up all over the country! There is even a National Center for Family-Integrated Churches. I had no idea!

On December 10-12, they held a Sufficiency of Scripture conference in Ohio. Some of the speakers included: Voddie Baucham, Doug Phillips, Ken Ham, Scott Brown, and Kevin Swanson. That's a whole lot of knowledge in that line-up right there!! I would be very interested in hearing what those godly men had to say. Guess what? We can. All you have to do is order the conference CD set, which is available on their website. Go check out the website for some sound bites of what was happening at the conference!


(Oh, and if you have a blog and would like to pass this info on as well, Life in a Shoe is having a giveaway for a set of the conference cds! They're so generous, :-) )

Huck, Chuck and Mike, oh my!

Slight delay....

Sorry for the slight delay in posting! We have just been so busy having FUN! I am just now sitting down and logging on to the computer to actually check on my little ol' blog. It's only been a week! I have a lot to tell you about, and hopefully I will have some pictures downloaded by then.

Until then, here's an awesome post from KimC at Life in a Shoe. Have any of you ever heard the "I wish I could stay home with my kids, but we just can't afford it..." comment? I sure have, and let me tell you, it's a very uncomfortable comment. We didn't become independently wealthy the day our oldest son was born - suddenly affording me the opportunity to stay home with him. It was a tough decision and took a LOT of personal sacrifices, on my part and Hubby's. That dual income was a nice, shiny addition to our spending habits. It helped me buy plenty of clothes, helped pay for two car payments and lots of dinners out. Suddenly having to put the brakes on that was a shock to the system for our brand new little family.

We didn't have a very good plan in place, however, when I left work. I also didn't have the full support of my husband, which would have been a much wiser decision. But, in the end, we are so glad that I have been home to take care of children, instead of placing them in the childcare system. I like Kim's post and her response to the idea that being a Stay-at-Home-Mom is somehow a matter of winning the "coin toss" in life. It's not always easy to give up those kids-free lunches, or the grown-up conversations that can be had at work. It's not easy to spend your entire day talking about Elmo, or changing endless diapers, or even being in charge of your children's education. But, the rewards are eternal, and I am so glad that I have this chance to watch my children grow up from a front row view!